The catwalk is shrouded in darkness. Whispers can be heard all around. Individual spotlights light up in a flash and are gone again. They reveal the anticipation in the crowd. Their faces brimming with excitement. A second passes before the stage is illuminated and the crowds excitement overflows and cheers and whoops fill the room.
That’s right everyone, the time is now. Are you ready audience? You’d better have dressed up nicely because this is it.
This is High Score Haute Couture!
Tonight is the conclusion of the biggest, most dramatically over-the-top video game fashion show ever held. Ever (E.V.E.R). I know most of you have been waiting on the edge of your seat for this day, but just in case you came here by accident, this is the FINAL SHOWDOWN of the video game fashion show – High Score Haute Couture. Previous installments were brought to you over the last few weeks by yours truly (Hi! I’m Pix!) and the guy who wrote a lexicon on the world of video game fashion, Chris from OverThinker Y! We initially started with 10 competitors who faced off against each other in two catwalks, which raised the bar for video game fashion shows universally. We then asked the audience to vote and see which character from each catwalk was the most stylish. The competition was HOT! One of the shows even resulted in a draw. That was the level of style on show. It was just so good, you couldn’t pick between them. This led to the result being thrown open on Twitter, and eventually we had our two winners, who are the finalists in tonight’s competition:
It’s Samus vs Repede, with Repede strutting his stuff here and Samus doing her thing over at OverThinker Y’s! But who will be victorious? Well, that will be down to the judges at tonight’s shows, so let’s introduce them! They come from far and wide and offer unique and unequalled fashion knowledge. Please give a huge round of applause for Adventure Rules, The Gaming Diaries and Upon Completion!
You may ask what qualifies these most excellent people as judges. To find your answer I suggest going and taking a look for yourself. Why not go and find out exactly what Adventure Rules means by the term Blogger Blitz (and find out how get involved whilst you’re there!). After that, why not head on over to Upon Completion? They may not finish games all that often, but have clearly played a lot of them if the A-Z of Gaming Me feature is anything to go by, so why not go over and start with the letter A. Since we’re already on the topic of completing video games, you definitely need to check out The Gaming Diaries recent debate on what it truly means to finish a game.
These fine people are going to be casting their critical eyes over the catwalks and posting their judgements over the next few weeks, so give them a follow and keep your eyes peeled!
I must say you are looking exquisite tonight audience! I even see a couple of familiar faces in the crowd! Why, isn’t that Agent 47 over there on the back row? He’s still smarting from the outrageous results of the last catwalk that saw him gain precisely ZERO votes. I don’t think he’s forgiven you yet, so maybe keep your heads down tonight
The scene is set, the champagne is fizzing, so without further ado, please welcome fashion’s finest to the stage. Please put your hands, feet and paws together for:
*I’m legally obligated to tell you that Repede doesn’t look like this anymore, this picture is just here to get your attention. It is in NO WAY supposed to sway the judges. Bet Samus wasn’t that cute as a baby though…
Now we can’t have this strutting mutt come out without an introduction. So for those of you who don’t know, Repede is the dog hero of Tales of Vesperia, and is the most fashionable member of the party by a long way. No Raven, you can glare at me all you want, Repede is definitely the most stylish! He hasn’t lived a charmed life though folks – he has had to battle many foes and even the occasional friend. Yes Raven, this time I am talking about you. He has witnessed death and experienced loss, bitten the occasional irritating princess and had many tough choices to make, mostly because of the morally dubious decisions of his master, Yuri Lowell. I don’t see Yuri in the crowd tonight, he’s probably starting a bar fight backstage…hmmm…I’ll have to deal with that later. Repede won’t mind though, because tonight he has transformed from Sinful Sidekick to Top Dog.
The spotlight is shining and that handsome blue grey snout is ready to go. His one blue eye sparkling in the shower of light as the planet sized disco ball descends. Doesn’t he look like he’s smirking at you? Those of you in the audience who don’t have a great view might think he is winking, but oh no. That is a scar over his left eye – proof that leading a tough life doesn’t have to stop you from living the fashion dream – the rough around the edges look is certainly in right now! Who knows what thoughts lie behind that wise face as he trots onto the runway.
Next time I must remind him that this isn’t Video Games’ Got Talent (Sponsors Note: coming soon to a screen near you), he doesn’t need to sing AND dance.
A quick shake of the fur sends droplets flying into the audience and his chain rattles ominously. I’m not sure why he went swimming before coming out tonight, but then he is a dog. He winds his way forward and cocks his head to one side, a ring of smoke rises from his antique smoking pipe and he stands, statuesque at the end of the runway. For those of you worried about the age rating of this show, it is worth noting that Repede actually doesn’t smoke, but for tonight he has put a small amount of Aer (or it might be dry ice) into the end of his pipe. He felt he wanted to see the lights reflecting through the smoke, but he is most certainly not a bad influence.
A quick turn and he flicks his tail, complete with ornate golden tale ring at the audience. A young goggle-wearing scientist looks kind of cross about this, but Repede doesn’t mind. A rapid bolt and he’s half way back along the catwalk. A glance back at the crowd and he’s got that smirk on his face again ladies and gentleman.
The lights dim and…wait. I can’t see.
*hoowwwwwwwl* *whoosh whoosh whoosh*
A light focusses on the runway, where 3 suspicious looking poles have appeared. And WHO is that at the runway entrance? Why, if it isn’t Repede’s glamorous assistant. Ladies and Gents please put your hands together for the Dragon Rider, Judith!
What are they planning for us? Repede is growling. GROWLING! With a flurry of legs he is away, rampaging down the runway. Watch out for those poles Repede! But it’s ok audience! Everything’s ok. Repede pulls off a quick ‘falling leaf’ trick, once, twice, three times he dodges past the poles at high-speed. He’s headed straight for Judith! I hope she can get out of the way. In a motion literally too fast to comprehend he has approached her and made his way back along the runway. The crowd is cheering and he is holding something in his mouth! Is that? Judith’s spear? But Repede! That is Thievery! You can’t…..ooooohhhhhh, I’m just hearing in my ear that that is what the move is called. He certainly seems to have stolen the hearts of the audience with that one! A bow of the head and he shimmys his way back. The curtain drops, and the lights come on. Is that all? Why no there is still more to come.
Stage 1 Clear!
After what seems like an eternity listening to Bonnie Pink, the music goes down and darkness descends again. I hope you remember where you put your gin and tonic folks because I can hardly see a thing out here. The proud dog stands at the catwalk entrance, a single light appears on him, he is the vision of refinement, wisdom and strength! Who says you can’t teach an old dog new tricks!
But what tricks does the dagger-bearing canine have hidden in his fine leather scabbard? I’m sure he will show us soon as he poses for the cameras. The main lights pan up to reveal three other figures on the stage. No hang on, they’re all the same person. They are all Karol! But wait a second – where did they get three of them? No no, it’s ok, they are just projections, but I do seem to remember that Repede is not terribly fond of young Karol.
Repede is growling again. What is he going to pull off here? He rushes forward, the first Karol is lit up in green, and BAM, Repede strikes him. That was a Fatal Strike ladies and gentleman! The next Karol is red, what will Repede do? BAM! Another Fatal Strike. The last one is now blue, and whoooosh, out of nowhere a final Fatal Strike. I have no idea where Repede is getting all this TP but he is certainly putting on a dramatic show. Blue light radiates around the room, and Repede stands triumphant at the end of the runway, bows his head, and trots off to a standing ovation. That is one Fatal Dog!
Stage 2 Clear!
After killing that last stage, what on earth will Repede have in store for us in his final run?
He slinks down to the middle of the catwalk and stands still for a second. A pale blue glow begins to form. He’s building something powerful here folks. The observant amongst you might notice that he has switched to a red, special edition dagger. Red NEVER goes out of fashion. Things are getting pretty Mystic in here. The blue light builds and builds and….WHOA! A burst of blue light showers the audience. I’m safe up here but I hope everyone down there is ok! Suddenly blue lasers burst from Repede AS IF BY MAGIC. He begins to run fast towards the end of the runway. People gasp. This must be his last hoorah. Yes, this is his moment. His Lightning Moment. The air is full of white light, it radiates from Repede around the room. Lightning bursts rain down (don’t worry, we did check the fire hydrants before this). A burst of pure light crashes down at the end of the runway where the Top Dog was standing, and Repede himself has vanished into a cloud of smoke. The lights rise and radiate against the smoky atmosphere, and Repede appears once more, raises his head to the sky, and…
That wasn’t just fabulous, THAT was Overlimit.
And so that brings to a close the one and only BEST video game fashion show in any real or make-believe universe. You can’t even imagine something better can you? Before leaving the arena, please go over to the other side of the building and find out how Samus is performing!
Thank you for coming, and good night! *hic*