Hello to all soccer fans and video game fans everywhere! This is an exciting day indeed, one we’ve been eagerly anticipating for four long years. That’s right, you guessed it. Today, Sunday July 15th 2018, will see the next name engraved on the famous World Cup Trophy. Will it be 1998 champions France, or will we see a new name engraved, that of plucky challengers Croatia? Or…what’s this I’m getting in my earpiece Jeff? Is something stranger afoot…
We don’t have much information yet, but it has filtered through to us that one of our worthy finalists has been forced to withdraw *GASPS*
…and, wait, what on earth is this? They are going to be replaced by…eh? It seems a new challenger has appeared on the pitch in Moscow and we are in fact going to see FIFA’s newest team ‘The Blogger’s Eleven Video Game World Cup Team‘!
An event for the blogging community, the Video Game World Cup has seen many imaginative and talented bloggers from all around the globe turning into rogue football agents. They have traversed various video game universes to put together the very best video game eleven ever and the chosen eleven are going to be lining up in Russia TODAY! A huge thank you to all contributors, it wouldn’t have been possible without you and you have made it something really special. Reading each and every entry was a joy and I was amazed with the number of different characters you came up with!
After an initial call for players, eleven amazing bloggers signed up a total of 25 players for the team, but of course only eleven could make the cut. Self-appointed (and in no way corrupt) team manager Pix1001 has certainly had some tough decisions to make.
Before we talk team news and tactics though, lets just quickly introduce the officials for today’s match:
Referee: Scorpion (Mortal Kombat series)
Sporting the traditional black and yellow refereeing colours, hell-spawn ninja Scorpion should be able to officiate fairly and his ability to teleport should mean he has no problem keeping up with the fast-paced action on the pitch. The fear of facing the wrath of his hellfire should be enough to control the players and his unrivaled repertoire of refereeing lines “Get over here!” and “Come here!” should ensure players comply with his orders quickly.
VAR Official: GLaDOS (Portal series)
As we know, VAR has played an important role in this World Cup already, but for the final FIFA have decided to introduce us to GLaDOS, the next level of VAR developed in collaboration with Aperture Science. Being hooked up to the cameras will mean GLaDOS has an unrivaled view of every event, and should therefore make a correct and fair decision in all circumstances.*
*The Video Game World Cup organising committee takes no responsibility for GLaDOS’s actions.
After missing out on selection for the first eleven, I’m sure both GLaDOS and Scorpion, as well as their agent, Zerathulu from The Zerathulu View talent agency will be glad to see them getting in on the action somehow. Hopefully this also means there will be cake at half time. And no one will die. Nope. No one.
Anyway, now that’s out of the way, news is reaching us that the lineup has been announced so let’s get down to what you’ve all been waiting for – The Team Sheet!
It looks like a few big names have been left on the bench for this one! I was sure Mario (as suggested by The Gaming Diaries) would’ve been in contention for a position in the team, but it looks like he’ll have to settle for the subs bench. If the rumours are true, Pix was unsure about his stamina despite the fact he could’ve excelled in a ‘utility man’ role in midfield. Kirby too (as suggested by The Resident’s Committee) misses out, despite his ‘eating real-life goalkeepers for skills and fun’ exploits.
To clear all of this up we definitely need to hear the lowdown on these picks, so let’s go over to our reporter at pitch side, Doomguy (suggested by Zerathulu), who’s got the manager with him now.
…*Silence*. Well, no wonder he didn’t make the team. Anyway, we have Pix1001 waiting so lets hear her explanations for this ludicrous team selection. Make sure you check out all the links to the amazing contributing bloggers below for a fuller (and better written) explanation of who has been selected and why!
1. Goalkeeper: Wyzen (Asura’s Wrath)
Suggested by: Rob from I Played the Game!
Why make your defence ‘park the bus’ when this guy can block off the whole goal for you? Assuming Asura hasn’t suddenly gained French or Croatian nationality, I can’t see any way for them to score past this demi-god today. Sure, he might destroy the stadium while he’s at it but his planet sized form is pretty much impassable. Sweeper Keeper? Who needs one!
2. Right Back: Shadow (Sonic series)
Suggested by: Luna from Gamers United GG
With his sheer speed and determination, Shadow the Hedgehog brings some much needed pace and agility to our back four. Whilst he has to be placed at the opposite side of the pitch to rival hedgehog Sonic (for obvious reasons), if you combine Shadow’s chaos control with Samus’s phazon then we should be seeing some pretty devastating attacks down the right wing.
3. Left Back: Sonic (Sonic series)
Suggested by: Nana Marfo, Chris from OverThinker Y & Bucksteeth from Resident’s Committee
Suggested by 3 (three) wonderful bloggers, Sonic just had to make the team. As with his arch-rival Shadow, his combination of speed and ambipedality mean he can attack from the back and nip into the opposition box whilst still having time to get back to fulfill his defensive duties. Whilst his finger wagging exploits may not go down well with our referee, his confidence and self-assured runs make Sonic an essential part of the team.
4. Centre Back: Corvo Attano (Dishonoured series)
Suggested by: Zerathulu from The Zerathulu View
As Lord Protector, Corvo here sure knows a thing or two about defending. Seemingly able to close down opposition attackers in the blink of an eye, should they ever come close to getting past him he can slow time around him to allow him to get back quicker. His tactics are sure to get into the opposition’s heads as his skills can evade everyone’s view, even that of our officials.
5. Centre Back: Liam Kosta (Mass Effect: Andromeda)
Suggested by: The Gaming Diaries
Team player Liam has everything it takes to organise a solid defence and keep the opposition at bay. As possibly the only member of the team who already knows the rules of the beautiful game, Liam’s organisational skills will really come to the fore in this important defensive position.
6. Central Midfield: Lightning Farron (C) (Final Fantasy XIII trilogy)
Suggested by: LightningEllen from Livid Lightning
This lady with the rose coloured hair has it all. Military training, strength, stamina and unwavering commitment. Sure, we had to tell her Serah was in danger to get her to take part, but once she was on-board she was an obvious choice for Captain due to her ability to square up to Gods as well as her unwavering patience when dealing with annoying boys.
7. Right Midfield: Samus Aran (Metroid series)
Suggested by: Nana Marfo & Chris from OverThinker Y
This bounty hunter really can do anything. Fresh from victory in the High Score Haute Couture fashion contest she has been suggested for this team by not one but TWO fabulous bloggers due to her speed, jet-heels and ability to morph-ball in and out of tight spaces. Clearly a player in her prime, expect to see her power-bombing down the right flank all afternoon.
8. Central Midfield: Batman (Batman series)
Suggested by: Alex Sigsworth
Meticulous preparation and a regime that is second to none have really made this superhero of the football field come on leaps and bounds for his team, Arkham City F.C. this season. With speed, strength and focus, Batman should be able to go robin’ any opposition defence of the ball before winging it forward to the front two.
9. Forward: Tidus (Final Fantasy X)
Suggested by: Thero159 from A Reluctant Hero
A proven sport star with a cheeky laugh, Tidus is a fine choice for a striker in our team. An optimist by nature, Tidus can cheer the team up if they fall behind and his Blitz Ace move will knock all opponents aside, leaving him acres of space for goals and glory.
10. Forward: Blaziken (Pokémon series)
Suggested by: Ian from Adventure Rules
This ridiculously strong and tall Pokémon is literally going to be setting the opposition goal on fire with his strikes this afternoon. He might start the match slowly, perhaps relying on some knock downs from his strike partner Tidus, but by the second half he’ll be up to his quickest and sharpest, leaving the opposition defence in his wake.
11. Left Midfield: Bayonetta (Bayonetta series)
Suggested by: Chris from OverThinker Y
Powerful enough to cruise past anyone with her bewitching dodge ability, Bayonetta is a fine choice to run up and down the left wing, blasting in crosses for Blaziken to get on the end of. Her ability to change into a panther could also come in handy when chasing long balls, she might just want to keep her language in check though, or referee Scorpion might punt her back to the Gates of Hell.
So there we have it!
These eleven players, who have been so meticulously picked by our wonderful group of bloggers are set to compete in the 21st World Cup Final. Now lets give our players a minute to solemnly observe the anthem (don’t look at me like that, you know this is the only song that should ever be sung at the World Cup), and then let us all grab a beer (other beverages are available) and sit back and enjoy what is surely going to be a historic match.
Once again a huge thank you to everyone who took part, I hope you’ve enjoyed the inaugural Video Game World Cup. We’ll hopefully return in 2019 for the Video Game Women’s World Cup live from France. In the meantime I’ll try and come up with a catchier title for it! Comments? Suggestions? General abuse that I didn’t include your player? Let me know in comments!
Thanks for reading,